No I’m not gonna contact him first. Then he’ll reply out of politeness and I’ll never know whether he liked me or not. It’s so weird - I am always like this, it’s totally ****** up. As soon as someone likes me, I am kind of indifferent towards them, but as soon as I sense that someone is not into me, I fall for them. It’s like I have this built-in ******-up mode of self-protection or something.

On the other hand I did hear from BMW boy but he was too lazy to come to our 9am lecture this morning. He emailed me to ask how it was and I said it was hard and I’m already screwed and he emailed back and said “you’re not screwed, I’ll help you”. Which is nice except he’ll hardly be able to help me without coming to lectures.